and even though i wanted to throw up or throw something at the computer a little too many times then i loved it, and i miss it all. there’s the usual “i would write and write and write, then! what about now?!” feeling i can never get over, but also the feeling of childhood (early) teen-hood that has passed by. i loved the show from the first episode and continued to watch it up to the end of the seventh season, and i was in one of the biggest message boards (which is, unfortunately, closed now =( ) dedicated entirely to the show. and it sounds silly but i actually remember crying a bit when i wrote to them that i won’t be modding anymore because i won’t be of use if i’m so inactive (because i did become kind of inactive at the end), because i knew that if i wouldn’t be doing it anymore, then i probably wouldn’t be visiting the site anymore (and soon, i stopped). and now, i look around on tumblr and see this whole new group of people who love the show but who i don’t have almost anything in common with because i haven’t seen the last four series.
and the fan fictions!! gosh, wow. i wonder how many i’ve read. seriously, lots. and all Jay/Emma fans that liked my fan fictions about them really have to be grateful to this ONE author that made me like the thought of them, that made me like JAY in the first place (it was nothing but Sean before i read this author’s fan fictions).
so, yeah, i miss it all. i wish i was thirteen again in that sense (everything else was horrible - school etc - but just to feel that giggly joy of finding a new fandom i love).
